Marriage Assistance

Partner was selected based on a wide range of parameters, some consciously, we examine some are not.
Studies show that people tend to choose a partner similar economic level, cultural or ethnic background is similar. Of course there are exceptions to this rule, then the couples who chose to meet the next person from the background as far as possible …
their main parameters can vote:

• appropriate social background
• partner’s age
• the financial situation – economic
• mirror
• His value system

Reasons that are not to choose a mate ..

Every couple of emotional language characteristic. Usually we learn that language at home parents when searching a person to live with him, looking for a desert similar emotional language he knew during his adolescence in the family. For example, a person grew up in a cold, indifferent person chooses. The goal is to find the person who knows to speak the same language and emotional, but with him it would be possible “to write a different end of the story.” Typically, our goal is to find the person with whom we will conduct our familiar emotional communication, but we will try to get better results – more than caring for one.

Typically, the same feature that connected us to the partner, because he speaks in “right here” such as apathy, is the same feature that makes us stay away. If my father was indifferent about everything I did or I said, I choose a pair of indifferent about the injustice in the world and is an excellent understand my feeling, the frustration that I feel with indifference.

So it was a couple a patient. They came to me, When the girl refuses to have sex with the guy. According to her, is critical when it comes to her, humiliating her in front of the children, too. The girl was angry, hurt, and ultimately feel distant and not even think about sex between them. The guy turn do not understand what changed. He always talked like this before She estimated his ability to “not buy anything”, what the guy does not see is that girl at the center of his attention, he criticizes her behavior as someone who runs the family. Now is not the happy couple in front of the world, but the guy in front of the girl.

How did this come out of the tangle?

Seemingly have to choose a select few will understand and stop suffering. He could learn to express himself in a less offensive. In fact, constantly monitors the girl, and she does not see what she was doing wrong. The couple’s case did not change pattern of criticism, and they also do not really learned to accept their relationship as it is. They stopped to get treatment, the tension subsided for a time, and probably a little longer they would turn to couples therapy.

Myth number one: parity is to be together
many people, especially women, believe that in order to create a relationship has to be as much as possible together and do some more activities together. precisely the wrong myth that brings fights, battles an continuous pair bonds, suffering and loss of relationship. relationship is not measured by the amount of time in which both spouses are quality time together, but common. Relationship is not to be together as much as possible but to respect each other and act with understanding and cooperation – both close and far. Couple that long, struggled, fought and does not respect one of the female – not a pair, even if it is kept together.

Myth Number 2: Duality She loved
her perception most people grow up is a love relationship is really the moment there is love – there is also a relationship . myth of love is the most incorrect myth, that makes people confuse love couples mistakenly believe they have a relationship if they like. In practice, there is no connection between love and relationship. Most people have experienced love – not experienced a relationship with those people whom they loved or when they were in love. Relationship is not necessarily love but the same interests and goals of both partners in a set. Spouses interests and common goals can build a life together full of very rich, compared to couples in love without the marital bond shared interests between them can survive only a short time.

Myth No. 3: marriage is a match
by match myth anyone has a lid that fits him just as he would the same lid is perfect couples experience infinite love. In practice, this myth is confusing and misleading, because for most couples do not match, but rather different fertilization. strongest base long double connection – years is rather a difference, mutual fertilization, contrast and acceptance. Differences, and adjustment, are those that tie couples together for many years, because the best way of human beings to grow, grow, prosper and grow is to learn new things and different from those familiar to us.

Myth No. 4: Duality requires reduction of the self and suffering
Many people believe marriage is a place that requires personal sacrifice and suffering. According to this myth, to maintain a relationship necessary sacrifices, have a duty to reduce the ego, to be who your partner wants us to be and who we truly are, to hide ourselves and refrain from being who we are. In practice, the myth This brings marital crises rather deep tensions to divorce, because people are discovering that they are victims, they suffer, they are depressed and that they are not happy – all because they are in relationships. But the truth is, marriage is not necessarily a place to reduce the ego, or suffering, but it can be as much a phrase I’m happy. But it is important to remember that the way to happiness is not related to personal relationship does not depend on her own but rather the personal ability of each partner to find happiness and satisfaction His unique way to exercise his right to be who he is, as it is.

tip: marriage is a framework of cooperation between two people with common goals and interests